Putting Life Puzzle Together

Even as a child, I've always been fascinated by puzzles - jig-saw, crosswords, trivia quizzes. Challenged, more like it.  Lately, I've been enjoying Sudoku, and slowly, have started going back to a bit of crossword puzzles.  They are exciting deviation from stress or work overload, a diversion or a cooling effect when life gets murky. Or when health is under repair.

Remember as children when we worked on our jig-saw puzzles? Two or three more pieces left. The anxiety of not being able to complete the perfect fit… The occasional annoyance. The challenge to persist. Patience. Persistence.

Eventually, completion of the whole puzzle. The excitement of seeing the complete picture is always a wonderful feeling, come to think of it, no matter what spectrum of our ageing life we are in. Young or once young.

As adults, a lot of of our challenges seem hard to fit together in the big picture, but if we look at them in the positive way round, and in the correct order, it’s most likely, we'll work out the complete pattern.

A random thought before midnight…

The Courage to Live by Faith

Musings of a Writer

Sometimes inevitable things happen. We struggle with extreme loneliness and feeling of dejection; taking care of sick parents, partners or children, coping with loved one's death. On top, ourselves may be faced with financial bankruptcy that has drained us to the limits of our resources. Or just coping with serious illness and chronic pains and trying to survive each moment. Or dealing with a difficult spouse. Or raising a family as a single parent. Many more of these terrible 'or...' 

For those who have strong faith in God or a higher power, there's always a verse to hang on to that says, "My yoke is heavy but my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30) which means that no matter what befalls, we are in partnership with our divine rock and strength, a courage to carry on.

Have your friends, business partner or people you've trusted forsaken you? Then trust your God for that source of strength in sorting out your life.  Pray for courage and clear mind to be able to work things out.

Carrying a heavy load that you can no longer dismiss? Let's ask ourselves and ponder a moment why our load is so heavy and if there's anything we can do to lighten it.

Remember J.M. Barrie, the Scottish novelist and playwright who created the fictional character Peter Pan? Here's my favourite Barrie quote: "The reasons why birds can fly and we can't is simply that they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings." How inspiring and motivating.   

I thank God for the gift of writing, pen and paper always at hand to rescue me to provide a fulfilling companionship from worthless wondering.  I thank God for music that soothe the sorrowing earthly woes, and even when my muse refuses to write, occasionally.

How about you?

Living Fully - a Paradox of Time

What sadness can we turn into a song when we are having our low moment?  Someone once said, "If your heart catches in your throat ask a bird to sing." 

Why?  Well, birds sing almost everyday, and their songs are warmhearted if not playful.

Speaking of living - I've just been tempted to share below something I've received more than a dozen times as a chain email. I love the message:  It's all about living. Live!

Before posting it here I wanted to be sure, so I checked and searched online if this message was indeed written by George Carlin on the occasion of his wife's death and his commentary after the September 11 attack on America. I'm glad I found this site --  Truth or Fiction ("The Paradox of Our Time".)



According to TruthOrFiction.com,  the message is actually written by Dr. Moorehead, minister, author and former pastor of Overlake Christian Church in Redmond, Washington.  Dr. Moorehead wrote it in 1990, later published in 1995, included in his book Words Aptly Spoken.

"AFTER THE DEATH OF HIS WIFE!

GEORGE CARLIN POST 9-11 (His wife recently died...)


Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - mouthy comedian of the 70's and 80's could write something so very eloquent ...and so very appropriate post 9-11.

A wonderful Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember,say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of  you.Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind."

(Note: Below,  have been added further in some of the chain letters I've received.  The message is profoundly inspiring that I just have to share it to readers - whether you are familiar with it or not.)

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1.  Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2.  Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3.  Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.  Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop."

4.  Enjoy the simple things.

5.  Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6.  The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7.  Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8.  Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.  If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9.  Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.  Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

And always remember:   Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

A writer reflects

Some people live without working; others work without living. Speaking of...  if your heart catches in your throat, what do you do?

A writer-friend once suggested - simply, "to ask a bird how she sings." I might just do that. It makes sense. Often, we try to figure out things too much, we get wrapped up in analysis and figuring out. I was a lot like that moons ago whilst employed by giant multi-nationals in the information technology industry.

Well, birds sing all the time. They sing lovely too. The nightingale. The robins. Even the loud kookaburra makes sense. We need a release in our lives. Singing. Laughing. Letting go. *I found the last one most difficult those years when my grieving process was utmost.* This didn't mean that just because I temporarily withdrew or my posts sounded sad or depressed that I was being negative. The healing process must eventuate and be given a chance for the cycle to complete. Simple as that.

Even a sigh or rant to another person, if only to be heard. Not to dwell on it, but a release.

On the other hand, it doesn't necessarily mean that as a taker, if we are, that we need to respond or analyse in kind every action or word we receive. At times, we have to be sensitive enough when to talk back, what to email, or when to listen. For this may be what the other person wants or needs, just an active listening ear.

Today, I had a good time catching up with a friend.

What can we do worthwhile? Or, what despair can we turn into a song? Perhaps, whistle a happy tune?

When the Mind Strays

Others call it boredom

Suddenly, you are restless. Your pen pauses. It's not even mental block. You simply don't feel like doing anything. Your brain freezes, so does your being. What to do?  Practice that power of pause, a real cooling effect until your body balance normalizes especially your breathing fully restored.


We decide to take a break from our computer. We visit our diaries or journals. We are booked for an appointment with our GP or doctor, dentist, or other medical practitioners. Our diaries include a scheduled get-together with a former colleague, a good "mate" we haven't seen for months.  But what about our minds?  ... When we have those blues, those down moments.
Who’s going to correct the situation when our mind strays in a difficult or challenging situation? That even when we’ve tried to cool it and breathe easy, our mind continues to rebel.  Angst won’t disappear, instead, it keeps lingering.

We do need to talk to somebody, someone we can trust.  Got no one to talk to? There are always the good books, soothing music, a drift to the shops, walking the dog, or enjoying your garden. Even a brisk walk will do. Or email a good friend. I just did!  Or simply doodle.

How about thinking happy memories?  Do it!

Accepting Challenges and Challenging our Own

Someone once said that continuous effort, not intelligence or even strength, is the key to releasing our potentials. Well, perseverance indeed may well be our greatest asset - to keep going. We've always been told that quitters never win.

Each of us has something uniquely special to offer. At the same time, we also have the potential to offer it successfully, but often we don't always realize this. Consciously or not, we stifle our self-development or growth with fears, from low self-esteem, and  inadequacies sometimes assumed.

This doesn't mean that we refuse to accept our weaknesses, but at least we can try to do best of what we can offer to live.  As long as we persevere, our confidence and abilities will grow in concert with our progress, until we find that completion we work towards.

Thoughts before the dawn breaks...

Life Choices

Life is full of challenges. When we are faced with them, we have two choices: to meet them fearfully or to face them and do something about it.


To choose fear we simply avoid taking risk, but it is a way of already giving up, preventing ourselves from ever winning. If we choose to welcome challenges, we acknowledge that life is made up of win or lose, of joys and pains. We open up to the possibility of a winning, a victory.

Sometimes we feel in the cycle of circumstances beyond our control, underlying constraints that need to be considered. Making a choice resurfaces again. When this happens we can remind ourselves that we have the power to choose what our attitude will be towards the situation.

Life Challenges, and More 

It's never easy this matter of choices.  Always a challenge.

But it's a move forward to acknowledge and accept that life will always be made up of choices.  We build and decide on them.

We are all capable of far more than we think we are. It's in the toughest of times that we find out and realize how much strength we have.

How can we challenge our own challenges?

I'm at it now. I've been for a while, but this month has been toughest yet. Continuously seeking strength from God, then I'm stilled. What to do? Face the problems squarely (I know; easy to say but most difficult to handle.)   Touch base with caring kins and/or true friends, handful they maybe. They will offer support their own way. Be sincerely grateful for their offerings, expecting for nothing more.  Try to practice the old reliable time management, with realistic to-dos to avoid unnecessary stress... Prioritise.  If everything else fails - simply - take it easy. Relax. Have a drink of cold water or clear juice.  Then indulge in something you love to do and enjoy. Read a good book. Indulge in Sudoku. Watch stress-free DVDs, or play a musical instrument but only for your pleasure.  Or, simply remember your favourite things.

Are you experiencing your challenging times? I mean, really tough, dark days? Continue seeking strength and support from God or whatever you call your  Higher Power, even if what you need seems impossible. That's what faith means. You can revise my suggestions to your own needs.

Challenges Test our Strengths

It's during the tough times that we discover the depths of our strength. It's then that we know some power has enabled us to do what we thought we could not. Some call this a Higher Power. I call mine God. It is available when we need it; we only need to pray for guidance.

One hindrance I can think of is fear. That's why we need to have faith and trust in that power.

One of my favourite poets is Emily Dickinson. She beautifully and succintly put my thoughts to her words. 
Reflection:

"We never know how high we are
'Til we are called to rise;
And then, if we are true to plan,
Our statures touch the skies."

~ Emily Dickinson, American Poet

Every which way we turn we will have challenges. But we can grow on from these challenges by trusting that power whatever we conceive God to be.

6 Solutions for Women with Much to Do

How to Counter the Urge to Assume Responsibility for Everything.

I'd like to share Mary LoVerde's message in her book, i used to have a handle on life but it BROKE.  It is the six power solutions for women with too much to do...  LoVerde is a motivational speaker and author of other books including the humorous Stop Screaming at the Microwave!   

Often, we work until the wee hours and STILL can't get it all done.

According to LoVerde, "Then don't!"  From this age of time management and Stephen Covey's first things first, and all that,  we've heard and read them all - we've been so brainwashed to think that the only way to manage the mounting chaos in out lives is to take control and organize.


No wonder we have overwhelming to-do lists that leave us feeling exhausted.  *I don't know about you, but my to-do notebook is filling up quite fast these days.*


In this book in front of me now, I Used to Have a Handle on Life but It Broke, LoVerde has a better idea.  She shows us that the opposite of control is not chaos but contentment, and how to counter the natural urge to assume responsibility for everything, as we women often do.

Okay, instead of frustrating and controlling strategies, she gives straightforward techniques for maintaining energy and keeping balance no matter what life throws our way. By recognizing that we often confuse control with power, Mary LoVerde delineates 6 solutions that will help women (sorry, men!) change from striving for control to thriving with true power:

1.  POSE GOOD QUESTIONS - Ask Rightly!

Ask the right questions and reap the rewards.

2. PAY ATTENTION - Listen Up!

Listen with your eyes, give from your heart, and stage a sit-in.

3. PREDICT YOUR ACHILLES' HEEL - Shore Up!

You will turn your weakness into your strength and your failure to success.

4. PARTNER WITH WOMEN - Pair Up for Help!

Together we make a difference. Strength is in unity.

5. PAUSE BEFORE JUDGING - Slow Up!

You'll save yourself and others untold misery.

6. POSITION YOURSELF - Wise Up!

Place your mind, body, and soul in the best possible position to receive all the abundance the universe has to offer.

Sometimes, a result of letting go isn't necessarily a black hole of laundry waiting and unpaid bills, it just might be a life that is light and joyful.

Hope for the Hopeless or How to Avoid Hopelessness

A writer's musings on a cold rainy day...

Suddenly that quote "hope springs eternal" just seems distant and untrue. There are moments when we feel hopeless.  And even when we don’t, some people around us do. It can affect us for whatever reasons there are.  It's always a challenge to put up that fighting spirit.  It's not easy but we have to support each other to generate hope.  What are some ways to avoid hopelessness?

• Learn to be more loving.


• Learn to be generous.


• Look at the positive traits in others.


• Be more encouraging.


• Find more humour in things.


• Stop sweating over little things.

 

About humour. Wasn't it Mark Twain who said: "Humour is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardness yield, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place."     

I'm thinking of few more ... but I'll leave you to your own thinking space.

We can keep that light of hope to keep burning within us each time an obstacle seems hopeless. Hope propels us to our dreams, our strength of character, and makes life worthwhile.

Of Winning Friends and Influencing People

Inspired by Dale Carnegie's Timeless book:
     How to Win Friends and Influence People

Albert Einstein, our wizard of relativity theory  once said that the important thing is never to stop questioning. True, and I'd say, more specifically, ask the right questions; better still, ask questions at the right time. One of most popular motivators of all time, Dr. Dale Carnegie, gives us an insight about asking a question and questioning. Most likely, many of you are already familiar with what I'm going to quote. Let it serve as a rejoinder, but for those who aren't, I hope you take heed and reflect on it. 


A Quote from Dale Carnegie:

"Socrates, "the gadfly of Athens," was one of the greatest philosophers the world has ever known. He did something that only a handful of men in all history have been able to do: he sharply changed the whole course of human thought; and now, twenty-four centuries after his death, he is honored as one of the wisest persuaders who ever influenced this wrangling world. His method? Did he tell people they were wrong? Oh, no, not Socrates.

He was far too adroit for that. His whole technique, now called the "Socratic Method," was based upon getting a "yes, yes" response. He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree. He kept winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses. He kept on asking questions until finally, almost without realizing it, his opponents found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes previously.

Next time we are tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong, let's remember old Socrates and ask a gentle question - a question that will get the "yes, yes" response."  

~Dale Carnegie (1888-1955), American inspirational and motivational speaker and author, educator. From How to Win Friends and Influence People. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1981. ~

Each of us, we have our own story to tell. Let's listen with respect. A gentle question is a sign of respect. After all, respect is a way of cooperating with each other.   

The need to rest our pens

As writers, we have our moments of blues, sometimes with a reason, other times, who knows.

When this happens, it's good to stop, take a deep breath, and cool it for a while. Have a rest, whatever you are beating to write. By doing so, we give ourselves some time to reflect on why we are feeling the way we are. Actually, I'm insisting on myself; despite not feeling too well. I've been trying to multi-task the past few days - overwhelmed with many to-dos.

Are you overworked, feeling let down, falling behind with deadlines, coping with problem children, feeling alone, disappointed, other reasons... or probably, you can't even explain why the blues?


What to do? First, stay away from your work station. No writing. I'm doing just that in a minute. Logoff. I'm simply going to drift, visit the DVD bar, have a cup of coffee and a slice of my favourite cake, before proceeding to my local book shops.


And later?  Listen to a favourite music, do Sudoku, tinker with the piano, really, endless worthy things to keep away from feeling out of tune.

What about you?

Feeling like having a good cry? By all means, do! And it's asexual. Men cry too, why not!

We need to give ourselves that needed timeout, that needed rest from mental, physical or emotional depletion. Often, we get so wrapped up with all our daily cares, loads of to-dos, suppressed grief, that we forget we are human with limitations.

Somehow, our muse will give a nudge when the pen is ready to flow again.

Writing from within: The inner self

There are many kinds of writing. Working for information technology (IT) business clients for many years, I've had overflow of white papers, technical manuals, courseware, reports, memos, even loads of emails. But I want to talk about a writing that comes from within, dictated by a voice, a writing voice, one that inspires the imagination and frees creativity.

For those who are into writing now, motivations vary – some fantasize about the free-wheeling life of a writer while others dream of becoming rich and famous one day. I lie, if I say I’m not motivated with the same reasons, except I also extend beyond it, for alongside classical music, creative writing is and has always been one of my lifelong passions.

Each of us has a story to tell, a one-of-a-kind experience. The trigger is a voice, our own unique voice. Mine comes from childhood memories, first love, fears, joys and pains, career, anxieties, travel, dreams… the list is endless. What happens when I don't hear this voice? I’m stuck. I can’t write. 

Writer’s block to me are those moments when I grope for words while staring at my computer screen or a blank piece of paper for long. What do I do when this happens? I usually walk up and down. Occasionally, I grab a Crossword or Sudoku puzzle book. Almost always, I pick up my favourite Bible (NIV international version) or one of my favourite sparklers-for-the-mind motivational book whilst listening to Mozart's piano or violin sonatas, or other soothing short music pieces varying from Baroque to Romantic classical composers. It can even be any of my CD collection's chock-full of inspirational songs, or classic guitar Spanish music I grew up with that my mother used to play.   After doing any of these, I go back to free-write, an almost non-stop writing without going back to read what I did. Anything and anything that comes to mind, including joys, pains, impossible dreams, even negative emotions. Why not. Anything to write about until I've scraped and freed up with courage what my voice has wanted to say.

I write with confidence because I trust my inner self. When my inner voice takes over I can write for hours – totally absorbed and having a great time dipping into thoughtful meanderings aided by memories, feelings and creative imagination.

There are other exciting times within my inner self. I'm talking about moments when other voices visit me, when I allow them to take over my writing for a while as they share their thoughts and ideas. They are voices of loved ones and friends or occasionally, people I haven’t actually met but wished I had. Too many of my inspirations from all walks of life. Then I find myself writing thoughts not originally there before. 

Some of my journals...

An on-going activity I’ve practised through the years is keeping a journal. Journaling involves the art of keeping a diary or journal that explores thoughts and feelings surrounding the events of our life. For me, it has been an excellent way of managing my stress to an extent. Perhaps to others, it might even keep from pushing them well into the realm of anxiety. Keeping a journal has helped me fully explore my emotions, release tension, and fully integrate my experiences into my mind, and myself.

Occasionally, I dig for some of my old journals and take time to read them. Visiting down memory lane once in a while puts the past in its proper perspectives, reminding me that life keeps on. We move on. We have to move on. Reviewing these old journals with acceptance keeps me come away alive, invigorated. It's appeasing.  Journals don’t only provide proper perspective. They become a balancing exercise to keep one's sanity intact, to put it bluntly.

Some of my journal entries:

• Put on a piece of a favourite classical music piece that comes to mind and let it lead and shape my writing.
• Copy a favourite poem or passage of writing and interpret it, or write my thoughts about it. 
• Set down a bright idea I've carried around in my head for sometime.    
• Recall an object that used to be important but now gone.
• Write about a challenge or one of the challenges I currently face.
• This last one is interesting. I want to turn my entry journal into a separate scrapbook to hold souvenirs - a picture, ticket stubs, a post card, a dried pressed flower - and write its significance for me.
  

Writing from within is an act of faith. It takes courage and assurance for inner entrapment not readily seen or understood but wanting to be heard. In a sense, it is a relief that I write in silence. All I need to do is be there, be ready, when my voice within nudges.



Note: I originally wrote this piece for On Being a Writer, dated Sept 11, 2010, re-published three years later with slight changes. / Tel


(c)  February 19, 2013. Updated August 10, 2021. Tel. Inspired Pen Web. All rights reserved.

Tips on becoming a writer

And you really want to be a writer?

You love words. You have the knowledge of the written words and at least the basic rules of the English language.

In today's world we can't get away from the Internet. We use it in networking, social media, and importantly, we use research online to extract information faster.  Having said this, I assume you already own a computer, or at least plan to have one soon if you are truly serious about freelance writing.

What to do to become a writer

Create your own writing space anywhere suitable at home

This is self-explanatory.  Set up your own home office. It can be a small portion of your home, provided it's mainly for your writing corner. Aside from your pen and paper, you'll need a workplace all your own - your computer work "station", a place where you keep your supplies, file research notes, reference books, and a comfortable place health-wise. (I'm talking about proper chair, correct working position, light, and all that.) Depending on your family situation, if you can manage having your own work room, the better. What's important is that your family or loved ones are made aware of your working space and time, and that they respect them.