Of Winning Friends and Influencing People

Inspired by Dale Carnegie's Timeless book:
     How to Win Friends and Influence People

Albert Einstein, our wizard of relativity theory  once said that the important thing is never to stop questioning. True, and I'd say, more specifically, ask the right questions; better still, ask questions at the right time. One of most popular motivators of all time, Dr. Dale Carnegie, gives us an insight about asking a question and questioning. Most likely, many of you are already familiar with what I'm going to quote. Let it serve as a rejoinder, but for those who aren't, I hope you take heed and reflect on it. 


A Quote from Dale Carnegie:

"Socrates, "the gadfly of Athens," was one of the greatest philosophers the world has ever known. He did something that only a handful of men in all history have been able to do: he sharply changed the whole course of human thought; and now, twenty-four centuries after his death, he is honored as one of the wisest persuaders who ever influenced this wrangling world. His method? Did he tell people they were wrong? Oh, no, not Socrates.

He was far too adroit for that. His whole technique, now called the "Socratic Method," was based upon getting a "yes, yes" response. He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree. He kept winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses. He kept on asking questions until finally, almost without realizing it, his opponents found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes previously.

Next time we are tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong, let's remember old Socrates and ask a gentle question - a question that will get the "yes, yes" response."  

~Dale Carnegie (1888-1955), American inspirational and motivational speaker and author, educator. From How to Win Friends and Influence People. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1981. ~

Each of us, we have our own story to tell. Let's listen with respect. A gentle question is a sign of respect. After all, respect is a way of cooperating with each other.