Coping with Grief by Writing

Thank God I'm a Writer

Living with a loved one's loss is a major challenge to hurdle. Some colleagues and friends journalise. I occasionally do. It's actually therapeutic. Although well-meaning friends may offer support, self-help books and other first aids for emotional hurt are also available. It's only when we experience the loss itself that we can fully understand what the bereaved undergoes, along with the extent of relationship we have with the departed.

Myths about grief and loss of a loved one proliferate, but I'd like to think that they are just that, myths. Sharing lessons learned about grief and grieving, some of them, the hardest way…

• Pretending to carry on as if nothing has happened does not help.
• Each of us doesn't grieve in the same way.
• We can be angry about our loss.
• Instead of avoiding it, talking about it to supportive people reduces the pain.
• We don't need to think only about pleasant things.
• We don't always have to keep our feelings under control.
• We don't have to keep extra busy just because we are grieving.
• That even if our faith is strong, grief can still be as intense.
• The painful feeling diminishes as acceptance of reality progresses.
• We should not set a milestone when the healing will completely end because we cannot. It might take months or years.
• To never expect help from friends or relatives, that way we don't get disappointed and hurt more, but if they do, to thank them graciously.
• To regularly pray and ask for strength.

Emotional healing is more difficult than an ordinary wound. But we should let the process happen, and let the healing begin. Thank God for the gift of being able to write one's thoughts and sentiments. Such a cooling therapy.